Sober enough to drive

     Since the onset of my symptoms in late January, starting with my cold/flu that I had been told was strep throat, it had been one month.  A full 30 days of torment and anguish.  This may not seem like a long time of suffering compared to other people's experiences, but the intensity was insufferable.  I am not superstitious, but I was beginning to wonder if someone had a voodoo doll of me and was stabbing pins into it.  I was still waiting for the morning that I would wake up and feel better.

     A few days before my appointment, I began to plan for my big trip to Reno  to see the rheumatologist.  The winter weather and storms were completely unpredictable in that area, so I knew I needed to give myself plenty of time.  I had one or two acquaintances I called to ask if they might be able to go with me, or drive for me.  Surprise!  No one was available.   
      My appointment was early in the morning of March 4, three hours away.  In normal conditions, I would of had to leave by 5AM to make it on time.  In the winter, going to an area I was unfamiliar with, I would have to have left at least by 4AM.  I thought it was best to arrive the night before to make sure I would be there on time.
     The last thing I needed was to get into a wreck while under the influence of narcotics. I gave myself ample time for the drug to get out of my system and quit taking pain pills, except for ibuprofen around 6PM that evening.  
     Sometime around 10AM the next morning, I left for Reno and planned to stay in a hotel room that night.  I would be getting into Reno early enough to make sure I got a good night's rest before my appointment.  I was feeling a little sore and stiff, but told myself I could make it through the pain for just a few hours.  Luckily, I was driving during the warmth of the day, and the roads on the narrow two lane Highway 395 from Mammoth Lakes to Reno was relative clear.  But it still took me longer than expected to get into town.  It was almost 5PM when I rolled into Sparks, NV where my hotel was.

Pain...

noun

1.  physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.

2.  a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body:

a back pain.

3.  mental or emotional suffering or torment:

I am sorry my news causes you such pain.

4.  pains.

1. laborious or careful efforts; assiduous care:
   Great pains have been taken to repair the engine perfectly.
2. the suffering of childbirth. (which does not even compare to the level of pain I experienced) (www.dictionary.com)

     I was in so much pain it hurt to sit any longer, and my arms could barely hold onto the steering wheel.  All I could think about was taking my pain pill and laying down.  Before I could take my pain pill, I had to find food to take the medicine with so I would not throw up.
     I drove through rush hour traffic, getting stopped at every red light it seemed, to find the closest grocery store.  I wanted to buy a few groceries so I would have food on hand throughout the night if I needed to take more pain pills.  I was frustrated after driving a few miles I could not find a grocery store.  I had no GPS or smart phone back in these days and had to figure out the hard way how to find what I was looking for.  Of course I had directions from the internet to the hotel and doctor's office, which turned out to be across town from each other, but I was unfamiliar with where anything else was.  My patience was exhausted, my pain level was at a 10, and I felt as if I were going to throw up, or pass out from the pain.
     I finally found a grocery store, parked the vehicle and hobbled across the parking lot.  I held onto a cart while I walked around the store to help relieve my lower body from some of the agony.  While at the checkout stand, I fumbled pulling out my debit card from my wallet.  My fingers could barely grasp my card and arms didn't want to lift my card to run it through the machine.  I was near tears with every step and choked back tears walking to my car in the parking lot.  I felt embarrassed because I looked like a freak limping around, dragging my feet so slowly, no crutches, casts or bandages, otherwise looking perfectly healthy.  I kept breathing and told myself everything would be fine.
     I began eating as soon as I got in the car so I would have food in my stomach to take my pain pills when I got to my hotel room.  I checked into my hotel, popped a couple Vicodin, and laid on the bed and tried to watch tv for the first time in at least a month.  I turned it on, stared at the screen for a while, but couldn't lift the remote to change the channel.  But I managed to lay my hands across a keyboard so my fingers could type out a quick message on Facebook to my friend.  I set my alarm for 630AM, took a couple more Vicodin, said a quick prayer of thanks for getting to Reno safely and went to sleep.